Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
