Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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