i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
