You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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