awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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