It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
