Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize