All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
