You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
