Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize