just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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