problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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