the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
