i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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