Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize