It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
my liver is dry heaving
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize