TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
