cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
