Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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