I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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