I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize