She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
