did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
