I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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