My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
