Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
