ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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