I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
