dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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