she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize