What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize