I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
