he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize