Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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