i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
