I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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