jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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