It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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