i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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