ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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