TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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