dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
