Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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