i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
