i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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