This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
