He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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