I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
