Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
