My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
