I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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