Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
