Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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