He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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