This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Randomize
