And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
