Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it hurts more in the daytime
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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