I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
