We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
