How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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