things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
