im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
so much tequila, so little girl.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
