filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
