i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
