I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
