Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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