he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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